Need
by Tofu-Master
Summary: "I still can't understand how you could put one man, no matter how important, above an entire world. I don't understand how anyone could."  There's a reason Guy would have given up the world for Van, and now's as good a time as any to share it.  Van/Guy.


**Author's Note:** So...my first -finished- fic for _Tales of the Abyss_. Van/Guy needs, needs, NEEDS more love. And so, here's me, shamelessly spamming (albeit vaguely) my ToA OTP. I have a few more as well, they're just...not finished. Yet. xD So uh...enjoy, maybe, I guess?

**Warnings:** Angst, angst, and more angst. Also takes place IMMEDIATELY post!canon, so spoilers ahoy if you haven't played to the end of the game/watched the entire anime!

**Disclaimer:** Don't own. If I did...well, a _lot_ of people wouldn't have died. ...And maybe some who didn't, would have.

**~o~**

It's late—late enough that even most of the servants are probably sound asleep, and the moon is situated dead centre in the Auldrant sky, shining down silently upon the world below. The ocean breeze is cool against his face; just enough to keep his mind focused, and he appreciates the small favor.

"…Guy?"

He looks up quickly to see Tear standing in the doorway. She hesitates a moment, until he smiles, and she returns the sentiment as she steps forward to join him on the balcony.

"You couldn't sleep either?"

"No," she confirms, shaking her head. "As grateful as I am to the Emperor for putting us up, I just…"

"It's alright." Guy shrugs, and turns back to the water; eyes immediately drawn to the silver reflection of the moon. "I get it. Me too."

"Do you ever plan on going back to Baticul?" she asks after a while, and it's a while longer before Guy replies.

"Not particularly. I mean…I'll have to eventually, but for now… Well, I'm in no rush." He sighs. "What about you, Tear?"

She blinks. "I have no reason to go to Baticul…"

"Haha, I meant back to Yulia City." He smiles, then lets his eyes slip closed for a moment. "Or are you planning on sticking around here to babysit Peony and Jade for the rest of your life?"

Tear's eyes widen, and she flushes lightly. "Of course not, I—" And she pauses. "…You shouldn't joke about that. They don't need babysitting."

Guy laughs, and shakes his head. "You're right, sorry. But are you sure you shouldn't be trying to get some sleep? We all need it."

"…Why does it feel like you're excluding yourself from that statement?"

"Heh…I guess it does, doesn't it?" He chuckles under his breath, and lifts a hand from the railing to run up through his hair—then, changing his mind, turns around fully to face her. "Too much on my mind. I couldn't sleep right now if I tried."

"_Have_ you tried?"

"…For about an hour, before I gave up and decided to wander around. Then I came out here. I probably haven't moved at all in the last couple of hours…it would explain why my legs feel stiff."

"Guy…" Tear frowns, and takes a small step forward. "Are you alright..?"

"We both just lost the two most important people in our lives, Tear. I don't think you of all people _need_ to be asking how I'm feeling."

Tear blinks again. "Luke, and…"

"And Van," Guy cuts in. "I know you weren't the closest of siblings, and that's a major understatement, but he was still your brother."

The young woman nods slowly, absently, and looks away, fidgeting with the fingers of one of her gloves. "…He was your servant, right?"

"You could say that." Guy shrugs, and then turns again to rest his elbows on the railing, leaning slightly over the ledge as he stares out at the horizon. "I was very young when he joined our household—still just a child. I hardly even remember our first meeting, though I do recall being vaguely afraid of him." He turns back to Tear and notes that she looks…well, she looks like she hadn't been expecting that. He chuckles. "Oh, it was nothing he did, if that's what you're worried about. I just wasn't used to strangers."

"I see." It's a strange thing for Tear to hear someone speak about her brother this way. Strange, and equally compelling. It's nothing like the way Luke once blindly defended him, nor the way she herself had hung on to (now long-since dead) hopes that her suspicions were wrong and for someone—anyone—to come along and smack the real truth into her.

It almost hurts to realize that Guy is speaking like someone who's still desperately holding onto something they cherish, while still knowing full-well that all the signs are pointing toward a need to let go.

It's the sound of someone who's lost hope, and it nearly breaks her heart to hear it in the usually cheerful voice of her friend.

A few minutes pass in silence between them, and Tear blinks slowly. "And…what about when he was no longer a stranger?" she prompts finally.

"He took care of me," Guy answers immediately, as if he's been waiting all along for that very question. "He was a rolemodel for me. True he was my servant, but we hardly acted like it most of the time." He smiles wistfully. "He taught me more than my teachers ever did. He'd teach me the little things; obscure bits of information most people would never even think of. I learned even more from just watching him. I'm still not sure if he ever knew just how much I watched him…"

Something about that statement stands out to Tear, just a little, but she ignores it for now. "So he was your tutor."

"In a way, yeah, I guess. But let me say this; I probably wouldn't be here if it weren't for him. After my family died…after Hod was destroyed, well, it was Van that helped me through it. Pere too, but… When we lost everything, he was all I felt I had left to depend on, and he gave me hope. Even if that hope was for revenge at first." He cringes, thinking for a moment about what life would be like if he'd gone through with that plan; not just life for him, but for all on Auldrant. His lips twist up in a grim smile. "I know it was far from what he wanted or expected, but the path he set me on is what led me to you guys, you know. I never would have befriended any of you."

"And then you would have sided with him," Tear finishes, brow furrowing as she thinks back to another conversation, so long ago now. "He's my brother, and I couldn't even do that." She almost feels ashamed.

Guy only nods, making no further comment on the subject. More minutes pass, more silence, and the two are content to do nothing more than stand and watch the stars for a time.

"Did you ever expect to fall for Luke along the way?"

The question comes out of nowhere and Tear jolts slightly, caught completely off-guard. "I—" She blushes, going quiet.

"Didn't think so." Guy chuckles, and decides to drop the subject.

"…Why would you have gone so far for him?" Tear asks finally. "I already know that you don't agree with what he was trying to do, so it can't have been for that."

Guy sighs. "I guess…to keep him by my side." A pause, and then he chuckles. "Or to stay by his. Whichever you prefer."

Truth be told, Tear prefers neither. But she isn't about to say as much; not in a conversation like this. "Even at the cost of every living thing on this planet?" she asks instead.

"Apart from ourselves, you mean?" But this is no laughing matter, and they both know it. "Sorry. But it's true. There was a time when it wouldn't have mattered enough, even if I _had_ known his true plan from the start."

"Because Van was more important to you." It isn't a question; but then, it doesn't need to be.

"Yes."

Tear is silent for a moment, pondering. "I still can't understand how you could put one man, no matter how important, above an entire world. I don't understand how anyone could." She frowns, and finally mimics him in leaning against the balcony railing. "I may grasp the concept…I think. But I don't _understand_."

"…You had more to live for," Guy answers simply, at long last. "I didn't."

Tear furrows her eyebrows, and bites her lower lip. "But you have—"

"I have you all, yes," he cuts in. "But that's now, not then. Back then, it was just him and Pere." Had Pere even known? Guy doubts it. "I probably would have done just about anything to keep it that way."

"You don't seem the type to base your entire life around one person. Forgive me, but the concept just seems…" she trails off, uncertain of how to finish that sentence, but Guy understands nonetheless.

"I don't think I could anymore, if that helps any," he sighs with a light shrug. "Not with all that I know now; the people I've met, places I've seen… And not for anyone else, either."

"Not even for us?" Tear asks the question lightly, casually, but there's something deep and dark and heavy hidden in her voice. "Not even for Luke, if he were still…"

Guy smiles, but it doesn't reach his eyes. "Nope. Not a chance."

Tear merely nods, having already known the answer. Yet somehow, hearing it straight from his mouth is more unsettling than it by any means should have been. There's a question on her lips now; one that she's already asked and yet hasn't at all—the meaning stuck on her mind just as the words are now stuck on her tongue. But the time is now to ask it—to learn—to _know_. She almost hesitates; not quite sure that she _wants_ to.

"Guy…what was my brother to you, really? What made him so important?"

_What made him so different from us?_

"Well…like I said, he was my servant. My mentor, as well." Guy smiles to himself, and Tear notes in her head that the expression looks almost longing. It worries her. "He was once my best friend, and then…more."

'_More_'. That's a word she hadn't been prepared to hear, but now that she has, it captivates her. And terrifies her. But it's too late now to take anything back, and so she presses on; her mouth working even before her mind does. "Guy…what does that 'more' mean? What—" She pauses, breathes, and then, "…What exactly was the nature of your relationship with my brother?"

It's a long, almost painful moment before Guy answers. And even then, it isn't by any means the answer she's waiting for. Not yet.

"You miss Luke, right?"

Tear blinks in surprise before her eyes narrow again, downcast. "…Of course I do."

"Yeah, well…likewise. I've been missing Van for a long, long time. The only difference now is that I know he's not coming back."

This time, Tear's eyes widen in what can be considered nothing less than pure shock and realization. "Guy—you and Van—!"

"Well, that's it," Guy interrupts with a yawn, stretching as he turns his back on the expanse of the world before them; and on Tear as well. "I think I'll try sleeping tonight after all. Good night."

And suddenly, without a word, he's just gone. Gone, and leaving her alone with nothing but the wind, and the thoughts running fresh and rampant in her head.

Because really, who could have _known_?

**~o~**

**A/N:** And to think. I wrote this entire thing out on paper first. Uh...I'd swear it took me longer to type out after, than it did to write in the first place. xD;; But anyway. Review if you enjoyed, please? Hell, review if you _didn't_. I'm completely serious when I say that if you have any complaints, I'd like to hear them. Just...make sure they have basis/a reason. Don't bother giving me shit like "This sucks" and not tell me why. It just makes you look stupid, and makes me laugh. Buuuut yeah. Hopefully someone got enjoyment out of this? :3


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